I got in, now what?

Hello everyone once again :)

Before I start talking about my acceptance, I want to touch on some more disappointing news some of you may have heard this year. If you were waitlisted or rejected this year, stay strong. It is extremely difficult to go through for sure (I think I will talk more about my rejection experience in the future). You are incredible for getting this far, please don't give up! 

Back onto the main topic for today, getting accepted to medical school is an accomplishment of many years of hard work, but at the same time also only the beginning of a new journey. I am so grateful to be in a position to have experienced this. I wanted to talk about the emotional rollercoaster I went through before, during, and after getting accepted. I would love to hear in the comments if anyone has gone through something similar or completely different. 

Anxiety

I think this one is obvious, but for me it was still more intense than I could have expected. The weeks leading up to that May 11th date, were so incredibly stressful. I would say that normally I don't get to anxious, especially when it is something out of my control, but this was a different story. For weeks, all I could think about was med school. It was the thought in my mind every second of every day no matter what I was doing. There was quite a lot going on in my personal life at the time, so combined with the stress, I felt so tired and just couldn't get myself to do anything. 

Some things that helped me during this time were low energy calming activities. Things like yoga or taking a walk. I did not have the energy to workout so these "easier" things definitely saved me. Also just spending time with friends and family (they were probably super annoyed that May 11th was all I talked about) was a good distraction. If this is something you went through, just know that you are not alone. If you guys have any advice for how to deal with this in the future, please do share it below.

Shock and Confusion

Once I read that "Congratulations," the first emotion I felt was relief. After all that time of thinking about it, the uncertainty was over, I was free. 

Then I felt like this should be life-changing. People congratulated me, were super excited, but in a few hours everyone went back to their life and normal responsibilities. Everything going back to normal felt wrong, like somehow I expected the whole world to flip if I got in. 

Then came the doubt. I had spent so much energy trying to get to this point, that when I finally did there was some kind of emptiness. What now? Was this really something I wanted? Am I making a mistake? I want tell all of you that doubt is normal. If this is something you felt as well that is completely okay. I realized that I am someone that tends to have random doubts about all major things in my life (career choices, relationships, etc...). I used to think this was a bad thing, but now I just take it as an opportunity to reevaluate and then recommit myself in a deeper way. I think this is something I might also write a post about in the future (I expect to run into doubt again at some point on this journey). 

Appreciation

So after a week or two of contemplating every life decision and trying to make sense of everything, I was able to confidently say that I was where I wanted to be in life. One of my main hesitations about a career in medicine was the amount of personal sacrifice it requires. Although I had thought about it before applying of course, it felt so much more real once I was accepted. I did realize, however, that this was something I was truly passionate about and wanted to dedicate my time to. I also feel that my time and energy are, to some extent, always under my control. I can choose to prioritize self-care, friends, and other important things to me, even in a very demanding career :)

With this new found acceptance and appreciation, I came to a few realizations I wanted to share:

• This was not some kind of life-altering moment. It was a huge accomplishment worth celebrating, but it was also just a milestone. My journey continues from here and I intend to enjoy as much of it as I possibly can :)

• As a continuation from the previous point, it gave me appreciation for my whole premed journey. I would never want to erase those 4 years of undergrad, in exchange for being placed in med school directly. There is so much that I learned, so many memories and important experiences I had during those years. This goes back to what I said in the intro: you are more than medicine. Enjoy the process, even if it's stressful, it is worthwhile for sure!

• I had other accomplishments as well. Getting accepted, somehow threw everything else I have ever done into the shadows. In reality, it was so nice to take a second and celebrate the other things as well. My dad bought me a cake that looked like a diploma, to celebrate my graduation. I am really glad he did this, as it reminded me that I did in fact work 4 years to graduate and that that was also important. This made me think of all the other things to be excited about: from my birthday, to anniversaries, to moving into my own place (I will write about this in the future as well), there was so much to be grateful for, beyond just my acceptance (although of course I am super grateful for that as well)

• The medical community is amazing and so welcoming. This is one of those things that made me sooooo excited to start school in the fall. After, sharing my acceptance with some mentors and research supervisors, I got so many amazing responses. I think it is incredible that people in such a busy field, take time out willingly to congratulate me, encourage, give tips, and make me feel part of the family (this is something I also noticed during my application when mentors were very willing to write reference letters or help prepare for interviews). I have also been able to connect with many of my future peers and everyone has been so friendly and amazing. The medical community is so caring and collaborative and I hope to give back a bit to that with this blog. Like I said before, I love mentorship, and it is very prevalent in this career :)

Overall, I am so grateful to be in the privileged position that I am in today. Thank you to everyone that has helped me get here, I appreciate you so much. I am so excited for everything that life has in store, and will definitely share it with you guys along the way :)

I hope this helped anyone confused with their emotions about getting in. This is just what happened for me and I am sure others may have had very different experiences. Please share them in the comments!

Let me know what else you would like to hear about :)